WTF; my activity on Wikipedia is all wrong?!

The first thing I read this morning was a message in my mailbox from a Dutch Wikimedia official who asked or advised me to stop my activity on Dutch Wikipedia; otherwise it would harm wiki and even more than that. O hell; it’s going to be a bad day. One of the mantra’s in the brilliant Signpost by Emily Temple still echoes in my head and will remain there for another while. What’s the meaning of this first read message today? ***WHAT***THE***FUCK***!?

I’ve had some wiki advice before:

I was kindly advised not to write about existant art galleries to avoid promotional issues.
I was kindly advised to write about dead people, so I would not be confronted with Stop this we don’t want your promotion crap.
I was advised not to write about stuff related to the museum I work for.
I was advised several times to stop with linkspam and namedropping.
I was advised to stop writing because of paid editing.
I was kindly advised to stop discussions on wiki not to endanger certain projects.
I was advised not to talk about certain Wikipedians as trolls.
I was severely advised not to talk about certain Wikipedians as autists.
I was kindly advised to write in other wiki languages to avoid Dutch trouble.
I was advised that the stuff I was writing about was not suitable for an encyclopedia (but maybe for a local hobbyclub).
I was kindly advised to write about more famous people than jewellery artists.
I was severely advised not to write about certain Wikipedians as rude, impolite misogyn art haters.
I was kindly advised to contribute to other Wikimedia projects than Dutch Wikipedia.
I was kindly advised to write a proposal about cooperation with GLAMS; so another very friendly Wikimedian would publish it under his name, because mine was already not so good anymore.
I was kindly advised not to argue with other Wikimedians who were constantly undoing the infrastructure I was trying to build on Dutch and international art jewellery (my favourite subject).
I was kindly advised not to react on silly input on (my) talkpage(s).
I was advised (or was I warned?) not to mention usernames outside Wikipedia.

And now this morning I was kindly asked to shut up on Dutch Wikipedia to avoid harm to WM.NL and other institutions. I’m stunned; WTF, WTF, WTF!

In real life I met quit a lot of Wikimedians and they’re all nice people. Some of them knew what was going on with me on wiki and they shared my concerns and they felt bad for me that it all went like this. Some of them tried to help me online with discussions every now and than (thanks again!), but they stopped of course because it’s sucking out all energy and it doesn’t seem to help at all. Unfortunately I also met Wikipedians who told me to lower my voice, which felt like If you wear skirts like this, you ask for it girl! It feels sad to conclude that oldfashioned, experienced, agressive and bullying Wikimedians can count on more protection than newbees like me. Again; ***WTF***, I’m stunned…

A small bunch of editors on Dutch wiki (about five I think) -and I guess there’s moderators among them- are helping out each other all the time. I guess they have all day to check out what people like me edit on wiki. I wonder who pays the lives of these trolls; I would not be surprised if they got government assistance. I love to share this frustration here, because I was repeatedly accused of paid editing. Which is rather silly of course especially because of the lack of responsability that anonymous but very influential Wikipedians tend to have.

By several people I was told that Wikimedia NL has researched the atmosphere on wiki in or before 2015. I haven’t had the opportunity to read the results myself but I understood that there is a list of 60 (former) moderators on Dutch wiki who’s behavior has been studied by reading their input on talkpages. In this research the texts of more than half of this group were indicated as poorly mannered, not helpful, but rather conflict calling and bullying. Only six (former) moderators would perform in a polite and helpful manner.

Furthermore this research shows that Dutch moderators have in common with each other that they all use their own interpretation of rules. And they generally describe themselves as the chosen ones to maintain the rules. Dutch moderators act like a group, they protect each other and cooperate during elections. Contrary to the English Wikipedia, Dutch moderators can work anonymous.

I can illustrate this with many many experiences I had on several Dutch talkpages. I won’t bore you too much, just a little…

For example the Dutch article about the exhibition Modern Times I initiated (and translated from the English wiki) was succesfully nominated for deletion by Paul Brussel, who wrote an article about the next exhibition of the same cultural institution, which of course was much better and did survive. This user made no effort to make the article about the Photography exhibition as good as his. Instead it looks like he enjoys erasing articles like mine (and I don’t think the article intiated by me was so crappy it should be thrown away immediately). I think most editors are way too positive to mingle with shitty procedures like these; if you spend spare time on wiki it should be fun; and right you are! So the shit of erasing articles about the photography exhbibition, Willem Honing, Sita Falkena and much more is of no interest for positive and kind Wikipedians.

The same user posted after my call for help to answer unanswered questions no questions but 14 statements about how I don’t understand anything about Wikipedia. Can’t help but think that Wikipedia is the only place on earth where this user gets attention. I think he’s rude, arrogant and very bitchy and does a lot of harm to Wikipedia. Users like this blow away new editors. But according to the message I first read this morning; that’s ok; no issue! Paul Brussel needs protection, not me!

By the way, on his personal talkpage this user claims to have left Wikipedia forgood. I wish he did, but he didn’t. Almost everyday of this year he was active in discussions. I tried to mention how this user puts a blatant lie ons his personal talkpage. I didn’t check it yet, but I guess I’ve got a new warning (or even block) for mentioning this incongruency. I think this is a perfect illustration of how sick and bureaucracy-loving the (mod)community is.

All this is very deeply & strongly heartfelt wrong.
I quit asking for help as I formerly did on my personal talkpage(s) and the talkpages of many many other articles.

I’m not a politician, I’m not a diplomat, I’m a person who adores open data, free knowledge and of course friendship, art and jewellery. I was happy to be advised only yesterday to share this shit with Lila Tretikov.

I would do anything for a quick and persistent cure!